MyLife

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 05:07:14 GMT

Christmas for the past 20 years hasn't been any special day to me. It is just any other day except I get a break from school/work. I've never liked crowded places so I don't usually go out on Christmas. But sometimes, I just wish I could have a nice and special christmas.

The whole of December has been really busy for me. Perpetual ringing of the phone really irritates me, especially for phone calls that I receive in the middle of the night. I'm so glad that all these has died down, now nearing the end of the month. I'm so looking forward to the long weekend this week.

Finally after 10 years, I've cleared and changed all the furniture in my room. I love my new bed frame. It is AWESOME. =) Recently, I feel really homely. I feel so lazy to travel and walk.

*
I've learnt. Not everybody appreciates what you do because they took you for granted. Have they turned back and ask me what I wanted?

*
The family has been very supportive. Thank you Elena for everything. Thank you for being the middle man. I'm so glad to have you around in the family. Nobody dared to speak to me about it. Nobody dared to ask me anything. But I'm glad, everything has worked out fine as what I've wanted. I fear no longer.

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 05:07:35 GMT

Why am I feeling irritated by the slightest thing you say or do?

Work has been busy recently. Calls one after another. It is supposed to be a good thing, isn't it. Recently, I've been feeling listless. I realised that there seems to be no goals in my life. I am just waiting for days to pass and it's getting a little too boring for me. Where are all the excitements in life? I need something/somebody to stimulate my life abit. Now, I'm beginning to miss the days that will never be back again. =(

I remembered I used to look forward to family gatherings when I was younger. As usual, every year, we will have an annual christmas celebration at Elena's place. Now, I'm dreading it. I haven't met them ever since Mother broke the news. I wonder, what kind of comments will I be getting.

Seriously, one day, if I have the money, I will love to migrate to a brand new place, make new friends, live my life.

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 08:33:10 GMT

The truth about life is,

Nothing is perfect. You don't always get what you want.

Yes, it is stupid getting angry over dreams. But it does mean I care if not I wouldn't be affected.

If you really do love someone, you would do whatever it takes to make the person happy. Well, maybe I'm just not doing enough.

I should just, go home and sleep.

Maybe, I should go on a short trip to somewhere myself on Thursday and probably come back during the weekends. Sounds tempting, or I should say, I will do it. =)

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 04:26:30 GMT

You are the most gorgeous lady I have ever met.

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 04:00:53 GMT

It's gonna be your birthday soon in 3 days time. Hope you'll enjoy your party tonight, Ms LE LE (Bapok gave her the name). Remember, don't drink too much alcohol already! It is so gonna make you fat. Be happy! =)

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 03:55:25 GMT

I'm amazed by how we can communicate through hand signs and understanding each other. =)
Was at Zouk till lights out last night.
It's been a long time.
It was great, but a bummer when people around you started fighting and pushing each other.
Found a great place for cheap booze.
4 cups of whiskey and I'm down.
Legs are aching like nobody's business.

*
So glad to see your name appear in my phone again.
I thought I wouldn't hear from you anymore since it's been a long time since my last text to you.
It'll be great if you were there yesterday, too bad you are stuck in JB.
See you around soon Ms Chian! =)

*
That's a fact, I don't deny. WOOHOO!

Worst Day Ever

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 04:48:08 GMT

Have been feeling very unwell these few days.
Fever, constant runny nose, sore throat, cough on Friday night. Had a difficult time sleeping.
Took Panadol Flu Max on Saturday.
Medicine too strong, resulting in two puffy, swollen eyes.
Bad headache and light-headed on Sunday. Still, had to pull myself out from bed for function.
Nose blocked till today. Food is tasteless.
Added on with bad menstrual cramps.
With a bad burn on the fourth finger by steam.
=(
Worse thing ever, being bombed with a serious case on Monday at work.
Tell me, how am I suppose to survive through this week?

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 03:42:53 GMT

Supposedly passionately in love with each other.
He, however, is a little short tempered.
She, although loves him very much, is very direct with her words when it comes to him.
He, not able to understand where is she coming from thought it was just intentional hurtful words that she used to drive him away and out of her life.
He wants her so much and he tried his best to coax her, but to no avail.
He doesn't know what to make her smile and accept him willingly in her arms anymore.
She isn't responding to any of his pleas.
He wants to know what is she really thinking, he wants to know how is she feeling.
Occupying his mind with just her, he couldn't concentrate on anything he does.
One fine day, as usual, he was thinking about her while driving.
Not realising it was red light, he continued on.
"BANG!"
He knocked his head hard.
Using the last ounce of his strength, he took out his phone and called her.
Still, the phone call led to her voicemail.
Breathless and giddy, he still managed to force these words out,
" Baby, please forgive me for whatever I've done. I never wanted to hurt you. All I want is to have you by my side. I will always be around you, fulfilling my promise, to protect you. I love you..."
With that, he smiled, slowly closing those heavy eyelids and never, coming back.

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 08:19:48 GMT

Life is short,
break the rules,
forgive sooner,
love with true love,
laugh without control
and always keep smiling.

Maybe life is not the party that we were expecting,
but in the mean time,
we are here and we can still dance.

*
Honestly, I can consider myself very lucky despite the number of accidents I had with bang bang. Bang bang just got towed to the workshop. Was on my way to Downtown East for a function and I was on the expressway, on the rightest lane, travelling at 120km. Suddenly, the speed decreased rapidly and the sound of the engine diminished. Skidded a little and immediately, I realised something was wrong. Signalled left, I moved towards the road shoulder (luckily it can still roll, otherwise, I will have to push it across the expressway!)

Turned the engine off, shifted to neutral gear and tried to kick start. Jammed. The first thing that ran across my mind was, "Shit, not on the expressway!" Kinda helpless so I called Xiangzhou. He concluded that it might be piston jam. At that point, EMAS Recovery stopped behind me so Bang Bang and I were brought to the nearest exit at Bedok Reservoir. Called the tow company to have it towed to Planet Motorcycles. Uncle said, "If the condition is bad, you may have to spend at least $500 to change the piston." =/

After this incident, I realised that I have been too reliant on bang bang. Without it, I feel so crippled and spent quite alot on cab now. I hope it will be fine by tomorrow. I'm missing it already, but I will have to figure out how do I get home from the office first.

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 02:36:59 GMT

Honestly, I wonder, what's the big deal?
There's a motive, I am sure.
But I am totally, unaffected.

*
Sorry my dear bapok, I didn't have the time to go down to register for Muay Thai. Let's wait for the next registration ok! I'll keep you updated.

*
Riding in the middle of the night along the expressway especially in the west always sends chills down my spine, chattering teeth and shivers. Very few vehicles. Very misty. Extremely cold. But it sure does clear my mind of all thoughts.

Been discharging waste from my body 2 to 3 times a day. I wonder what's wrong. Whatever I eat, just comes out, within 2 to 3 hours. Is it that I have a straight intestine? =/

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 06:55:01 GMT

Planning a trip to taiwan probably some time in September or October. Any idea which accommodation is cheap and accessible? Any of you working in travel agencies that have good deals for a 5D4N, free and easy package for 2?

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 05:11:19 GMT

Finally, it's over.
I hope. =)

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 09:37:15 GMT

Was researching online for some courses/activities that I can take up during my free time.
Finally settled on one.
Guess what?
It's, MUAY THAI BOXING!
I kept thinking of going back to Taekwondo, but I know it will definitely take up a lot of time.
Was looking through this area of sports, Karate, Aikido, Judo and I've finally decided to take up something out of the usual.
Lesson starts 20 August, every thursday at 8pm.
Once a week, after work.
Perfect for me.
I will be determined and proceed onto every stage, Basic - Intermediate 1 - Intermediate 2 - Advance.
There will be competitions in the advance stage too!
Anyone keen to join me? =)

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 09:14:47 GMT

Bottled up.
Hope tonight will be good.
Finally able to see bapok again! =)
It happens to be Lilian's birthday today and she's celebrating at Zouk.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILIAN!

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 04:30:32 GMT

The pen I use to write in D lost its ink. That is fast.

*
It kinda hurts, from the way I look at it. Well, a person should look forward in life. I am not worth the wait, not worth to hold on. Don't waste your life, don't hurt yourself. Life is short, live it well.

The love was once, so beautiful. So let us just leave it, that way.

I am just, a heartless fuck.

*
I miss Bapok. Next time schedule your off days on the weekends alright! So I won't be able to reject your offer again. Time pasts pretty fast. I'm missing the times when we first started getting close. The days when we club together, even if it was just the two of us. The days we had in Leisurequest. It was so, without complications, so carefree, so, nice.

Now, we are all getting so busy with work and other stuffs. =(

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 06:52:33 GMT

Secretly think the happiness of living, for me, will end, earlier than people of my age. Though the lines on my palm beg to differ.
No, I'm not pessimistic.
As short-live it may be, at least, I'm contented at this moment.
At the very least, I've fulfilled most of my requests for life.

20 years of living, I have experimented, pursued, ventured and tried many things.
Owning a vehicle of my own, although its not the convertible that I have always dreamed of. (but still, it is still open air) =/
Confessed to the family about my sexual orientation.
Family found out that I smoke.
Still, I haven't been ostracized by them.
Been given birth in a family that loves me.
Have a close younger brother.
Been through the ups and downs of relationships and friendships.
Have sufficient savings to support myself and with the monthly income, I believe I can live on my own.
There is still one thing in life that I have yet to endeavor.
Which is, having a house of my own, staying alone, being independent both financially and emotionally.

I believe, it will definitely come true. 5 more years, I will do it.

*
"Not intending to further your studies?"
This is what I've been hearing for the past few months.
Honestly, I don't know.
If I were to get a degree, should I go for events management? Or, sales and marketing? Or back to the same Hospitality and Tourism?
Most of my friends are getting a degree, be it local university, private degree in singapore or an overseas degree.
It makes me wonder, what am I doing with my life.
Study takes another few years of my life.
Will I do better if I get a degree?
Will I be able to increase my income?
I know it doesn't stop here, but where will it bring me to?
I'm enjoying life now, not expecting another change anytime soon I guess.

*
Finally met up with Jessie and Gen at Gen's place for a potluck session yesterday.
CHANGE AGAIN?!
I don't know how to explain this.
I'm a fickle minded person.
My lifestyle adjusts to my environment as it changes.
I have not lived in regret, up till now.

The Role

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 03:58:41 GMT

The Role.

Generous with feelings, providing a great deal of care and concern.
Accedes to every requests demanded.
Provides the most endearing words that comforts the S.O.
Possesses (try to) the greatest sense of security.
Swallows every accusation.
Has a very big-heart (pretend to).

Elated, contented with the slightest sweet move by the S.O.
Oblivious to whatever hurt has caused, The Role, feels very blissed.
This is what we call, 犯贱.
But well, this is what we are.

=)

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 07:11:05 GMT

Very sorry. Very guilty. Is there any chance that I can make it up?

Lost, when I heard the way you called. Somehow, it seems there's no turning back.

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 07:12:22 GMT

Mother Ho is going for the second round of interview for the post of a General Manager at an MNC company. Just told me this morning. She's really worth my admiration. Retired. Having nothing better to do decided to go for this job. I'll rather stay home and shake leg and go for those massages she didn't have the time to. Talking about that, she asked me to take her place for the full body massage appointment since she couldn't make it. YAY!

Truthfully and sincerely, I bow to Mother Ho.

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 06:40:29 GMT

Emotions are definitely something very unpredictable, for me. At times, I really feel like a fucked up bastard.

After meeting Rooney, Jessica's silky terrier, the sudden urge of owning a dog was so immense.

Positives
- Companion, when you are lonely.
- Provides you the comfort, very good listening ear.
- Cares about you.
- Loyal to you.
- Makes you happy all the time.

Negatives
- I AM SELDOM AT HOME!

I know the negative beats all the positives hands down. =(

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 06:30:32 GMT

It's suffocating, when you can't seem to bring across the amount of misses to that special someone.

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 05:27:22 GMT

My mornings seem so lifeless without seeing Mother doing her yoga exercises in the living room and her homemade breakfast or lunch for me to bring to work. She should be coming back soon from her holiday trip to Penang/Genting. I miss her, breakfast. =/

Though it's mostly occupied by bed bed, the cupboard, the tv, the dressing table and the study table, a mahjong table can still be fitted in! It's my room. It was the first time after 10 years staying in the house that I realised that my room is such a conducive place for gambling, but it is definitely not the place that brings me luck.

Sales has been good for these two months. However, that brings about more stress for me for the month of August. It doesn't look good, at all. =(

Compliments from clients about me to the boss sure is a good thing. Gonna be busy again tomorrow.

Have been confessing to D, my great companion, a lot. It makes me happy.

So looking forward to the Redang trip on 7 August, where I can have fun, relax and cut connections from the rest of the world.

*I love the charmingly drawn picture. =) =) =)

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 07:37:13 GMT

HOW GIRLS FLIRT:

1.She calls you by your full name not just a nick name.
2. She hits you softly on the arm and laughs when you say something funny.
3. She flips her hair when she's talking to you.
4. She touches your arm when she talks to you.
5. She says, "No, I'm not telling you who I like!" with a big smile on her face.
6. She asks you who you like or who you would go out with seemingly interested.
7. When you go to the movies with a bunch of your friends and she is almost always next to you.
8. She criticizes you on a girl you like.
9. You catch her staring at you.
10. She plays with your hair or tries to put make up on you.
11. Her friends outside of school and in school know about you, and says she talks about you a lot.
12. She knows your phone number and address. ( stalker much? )
13. She will try and talk, and spend time with you as much as possible

HOW GUYS FLIRT:

1. He stares at you alot.
2. He hits you alot. (just play hitting )
3. He uses the first thing that pops into his head to start a converstaion with you
4. He yelled, "Hi!", to your mum that day she picked you up from school.
5. He blew off his buds to go see "Brown Sugar" with you cuz you couldn't get another girl pal to go and didn't want to go alone.
6. He tries to make you laugh anyway even if he gets hurt in the process
7. His voice gets softer when ever you two talk.
8. You hung up on him. He called you back.
9. You were invited by him to a group outing.
10. He called you to talk about nothing at all.
11. He imitates your laugh. OK, you do laugh PRETTY LOUD. Which makes you laugh even harder...
12. He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation
13. He sometimes stares straight into your eyes.
14. He uses every possible way to touch you (your hair, face, thighs, KNEES,ect.)

*
I was reading this and I found it true in most aspects. Interestingly, I realised what I think of myself is right.

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 04:40:54 GMT

Was home after work yesterday, after ages later. =/ Mother Ho had an appointment, Brother Choy had assignments to do at school, Father Choy was asleep, thus I was all alone. Enclosed by the four walls in my room, I knew I have to plan something for the night.

The clock which was sitting at the dressing table read 6.30pm, 4 more hours to go. Changed into my running attire, I have decided to do a stairs half-marathon at my block. I was already shagged at the second attempt on the 12-storey block as it has been a long time since I have done this. Total of 4 attempts and the thighs couldn't bring me any further. Went home took a shower and went downstairs for some grocery shopping to stock up food for work.

7.50pm, I slopped down on my bed with bear bear and read the book 'A Bend in The Road' by Nicholas Sparks. Good book, comprehensive, straight to the point. Was at it for the next 2 and a half hours before I remembered that I have forgotten my dinner and the stomach is growling pretty loudly. Made myself some noodles and sat in front of the tv with Mother Ho.

This is how I always spend my day when I'm at home. Boring and uninteresting. Well, sometimes I just have to appear at home and show Mother Ho that I'm home early. Haha.

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 08:28:06 GMT

I think bang bang has feelings too. Cause it totally acts depending on my mood. =/

I love you, bang bang.

Thanks for accompanying me where ever I go. Sorry for leaving you there that night!